Crashing Weddings and Creating Art: Conversations with Ayana Major Bay

Hey, friend. Welcome. And welcome back to nosey AF conversations about art, activism and social change. My name is Stephanie and I'm your friend and host.And today's conversation is with Ayana Major Bey.Ayana's an actor, a mentor, a podcaster, and she's an all around creative force, you know, And I first found Ayanna through the women of color podcasters community, which is a. That I joined to, you know, connect with more women of color that podcast.And as soon as I saw her face and her podcast, I'm like, oh, my God, another black woman artist with a podcast. I think I just found my new best friend beside you, of course. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I just, like, went wild.But, like, after I geeked out and had that little, like, parasocial moment, I was really curious about Ayana because I'm like, wow, she's acting, she's mentoring, she has all this stuff going on. And on top of that, a podcast, which is not an easy project to take on.And so I'm just like, wow, I wonder what keeps her going, you know, like, how does she fit it in? How does she see the work that she's doing? And so we're digging into that.She's made so many pivots in her career, and it's so funny that I say the word pivot because her PODC is called the artist pivot. But we get into all of this, what it means to show up for your art. And also, and also, Ayanna crashed a wedding. So let's get into the theme song.Let's get into the conversation. I am so happy you're here. Welcome to nosey af. Gotta get up, get up to the whole world. You will win a winner.Vision of a star with a mission in the cause. What you doing? How you doing? What you're doing and who you are. Flex yourself and press yourself. Check your.If you know me, then you know that I be knowing what's up. Hey, Stephanie. Graham is nosy as Ayana. Welcome to nosey af.

Hi.

Thank you so much. I'm excited to be here.

Yes. I love listening to your podcast, the Artist Pivot.

Oh, thank you.

Yes.

I enjoy producing it.

Yes, I know you do. It's so such a great resource for folks that are thinking, should I do something else? I thought we could start with foolishness in.Oh, let you crashed a wedding.

Yes, I.

Please, please tell us all about crashing the wedding.

Oh, I'll be glad to. Here we go. Story time, friends. So this was. Oh, gosh, maybe 10 years ago. At least 10 years ago. No, probably more.I'm trying to decide was it before or after I went to grad school? I don't know, but it's at least 10 years. It may be 12 years. Yeah. So my mom is a doctor.

Okay.

And my sister and I happened to go with her to this event, right? Like it was her hospital. Or like the. The conglomerate was throwing a. Basically a gala for the doctors, right.To be like, thank you, we love you, you work hard. Let's dress up and like, feed you.

Right?

So my sister and I attend this with her and we're, you know, it's a. It's cute. Like, it's one of those. I was like, we got to dress up. It was nice, but the food was terrible at this particular, like, hotel.We were like, who's the chef? Cause this is bleh.

Right?

But then next door was an Indian wedding, and it was on and popping, right? Like, there had to be about 400 people there. Wow. And clearly they had the food, right. Cause that's where the smells were coming from.We were like, but we want to be over there.

Yes.

With the Indian wedding, like, what was happening. So luck would have it. I call it a blessing. I call it a God happenstance. Luck would have it, child.There happened to be a fire alarm pulled that night. Yes. Something set off the fire alarm, so we all had to evacuate the building, mind you. Okay, hold on, let me back up a step at my table.Sitting at me was a doctor named Dr. Patel and his wife, who were Indian, and my mom knows him. So we were chit chatting, talking it up, laughing, yada yada. And he was like, we should go into that Indian wedding.And his wife was like, you're crazy. And she was like. He was like, I'm Indian. So, like, we can blend. Like, we're already dressed up. We can blend in.And I'm sure we know somebody in there. And his wife was like, you're crazy. I'm not going. So then back to the fire alarm happens. Fire alarm happens.We're outside chit chatting, and Dr. Patel is like, hey, when we go back in, do you wanna go into the wedding with me? I was like, yes. He was like, great, you're now Mrs. Patel. I said, done. And his wife was like, child, go ahead, go with him. Go like, no, I'm not.I'm not doing his foolishness with him. I said, that's fine. I'll be Mrs. Patel for five minutes walking around the wedding.

I know that's right.

Okay. And mind you, we're dressed up. We're at a gala, so I'm not like, out of place. I have on a gown.

Right, right. Yeah, you fit the part.

I fit the part. So what do we do, Stephanie? They let us back in the building, and me and Dr. Patel surely do salter right into the wet.

Wow.

We saw to insha. He said, okay, grab yourself a plate. Cause the. Mind you, the buffet was open. They didn't close it down. Cause they had to evacuate.So he said, okay, make yourself a plate. I'm gonna do a circle around the room and see if I know anybody. Okay, great. So I surely do. Make me a little plate. I got me some chicken. A little.A little naan. A little. I said, oh, let me. I'll push. He did put on my plate. He was like, okay. He. So he did his little round right?Like, I waited in the corner for him after I got my plate. So I didn't leave because people were still coming back in. And he goes, okay, we're sitting at table 46. He said, I know a couple doctors over there.So if anybody ask you, we're at table 46. But what we're going to do is we're going to eat out here. Because right in front of the doors were like, little cocktail tables, reception tables.So they had this little, like, loungy space right in front of the ballroom. So we stayed in a little loungey space. I ate my food. He said hi to a couple people he knew.And then he was like, okay, let's leave and we'll circle back for dessert.

Wow.

So we walk back into our ballroom. We're there for like half an hour. And then he's like, okay, I think they're serving dessert. So what do we do?Walk right back out, grab dessert, and we're in that little loungey section, right?

Yes.

And this is the part where he was like, okay, I think we have to leave. Because these doctors that he knew came out, started talking to him, and they were kind of giving me a side glance, like, who is she?Because they know his wife, right? Like, I'm not his wife. And so now. Now thinking back as an older woman, I'm like, oh, did they think that, like. Like something was going on or like.Cause you're like, that's not your wife, Bruh. That's not Mrs. Patel. Are you. Did you bring your side piece to a wedding? Right. Like, right. Nowadays, I'm like, o. That's what those looks were about.And so after that then we left and went back into our, like, gala. But, yeah, girl, I crashed the wedding. That food was good.

Yeah. You know, that's what you gotta do. You know, it's like, I'm not gonna eat bland food. I'm gonna. You deserve so much more.

Thank you. I appreciate that. I do deserve more than that bland food. And thank you, Dr. Patel. Shout out.My mom left that hospital a while ago, so I don't know where he's at in the world, but thank you for helping me crash a wedding.

Yes. That's so fun. And then also, yeah. People putting two and two together. Like, who is this? Y' all not sitting at table 46.You feeding her out here, like, what is going on?

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

And you just. You just enjoy yourself, looking beautiful, eating girl.

I'm serious.

So they're probably like, this chick is having a good time, right?

They're like, who are you? Cause you're not his wife.

Wow.

But you're over here snacking. I think that, like, again, now that I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, that.

Oh.

That's why he was like, I think we gotta go. I think it's our. I think our time is up.

Like, rotate, people. Probably saw his wife the next day, like, in the grocery store just shaking her head like.

Be like, oh, if you only knew.

He only knew what I know.

What I know. And then she would probably be like, no, I know. I told her to go with him. Right, right.

Looking a little bit. I bet she won't do that again. I bet she'd go with her husband.

Hello. Okay. All right.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing that. Because there was like a.There used to be this reality show where couples would hire, like, improv troops to come and crash the wedding.

Really?

It was like on I'll have to. It was like either Lifetime or tlc. But they would go in these weddings and act a fool.Like, peek through the gifts at the gift table, and you saw the bride's uncle would walk up, be like, go sit down. But if you walk back up to this table again, it's gonna be a problem. This is my niece's wedding. It's gonna be a problem.Or they would, like, start making out, being inappropriate on the dance floor, just all sorts of stuff. And then at a certain point when people would sit down, the bride and groom would come out and be like, you all have been punked, essentially.And then everybody would laugh because people were like, these people are just so outrageous. My God, it was such A fun, fun show. Ayan, on your podcast, you talk about folks pivoting their careers. And you've pivoted your career, right?You've done, like, musical theater. I wouldn't say, like, musical theater to acting, but, like, is that is like musical theater and acting. That's the same.

It's the same.

Would you call it the same?

Okay, it's the same. It's just choosing what lane under the acting umbrella you want to. Right, Yeah. I fortunately have the skills to be in musical theater.

Right.

Like, that's my first love. But I've also done TV and film and commercial.

Right.

That's all acting. But you're under. Everybody's under the same acting umbrella. But what lane are you choosing?

Right?

Because I've met TV and film people who are like, oh, I wish I could do musical theater. They're like, I got two left feet. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I was going to see, like, is what's that like to go back and forth like that from, like, the different mediums of.You know, I know in film, people will say, oh, they're a TV person, you know, like different crews. They'll be like, oh, they work on TV shows. Oh, they work on movies. Oh, they work on commercials.Like, and it seems they have, like, a different flavor of each. Is there different flavors like that as you, like, go across the. Would it be like. I want to say mediums, but. Yeah, you know, they are categories or.

No, you're right. Mediums, Categories, One in the same, right? Yes, there are. And I think it's. It's the. I say putting on your different skill set hats, right?So you need different skill sets for each medium. And particularly musical theater is the medium that I've been in the longest.

Right.

Like, that's how my career started in the arts and kind of basically what I was doing up until the pandemic. And so those are the skills of me being able to take somebody else's work and, you know, transmute it.

Right?

And like, oh, I'm playing this character. What did this person write? What is the intention behind it? Or, like, what are my intentions behind this character?And being able to pick up choreography, right. I'm learning. We call, you know, musical theater the first day of rehearsal. We call it the first day of school.

Right?

Okay.

Cause we're like, we have so much to learn. And it's usually typically in regional theater. Broadway and bigger shows have a little bit more time.Cause especially if they're going through workshops. But regional theater, you may have two weeks, three Weeks max to learn the show, and then it goes up, then you're running, right?And so it is having that skill set of being able to learn music quickly, learn choreography quickly, learn lines quickly, and then put it all together.

Right?

And it's a very quick process, but rewarding, Right. Like, once the show is open, then you kind of coast. Then you can make different choices.Then you can, like, okay, I learned what was written on the page musically, but now I wanna put in a little flair. But, you know, you have the foundation of what the composer and lyricist wrote. And now I could put an Ayanna flair on it, right?

Yeah.

But in those first couple of weeks, you have to, like, put on your. Put on your student hat, right. Like, I am literally in school. I have to get this information from the page into my brain.

Right?

Okay. And I wish. Sometimes I wish osmosis I could do that. Like, just put the script to my head and, like, let it soak in. Cause I'm like, what? Go back?What was that again? But that's a special skill set, right. For musical theater. And I would say TV and film commercial again, depending on what you.If you're a series regular, I would think it's a little bit different. I haven't been a series regular. I want to be. I'm praying and manifesting that.

That would be great.

That would be amazing. But I've been more of, like, a guest star, day player, co star. And that's more being in the moment, right?

Okay.

Because you may not get your script until the day before or the day of, or they may change something. And you're learning lines while you're on set. You're learning lines while you're in the makeup chair. You're learning lines while you're in wardrobe.And it's. To me, it's about being present in the moment. Just kind of like live theater. So once the.Once the show has opened and you're in the show, it feels the same. Like being on set. Because it's like, I have to be present and in this moment right now, because I'm not gonna get it again.

Right.

Even though TV and film and commercial is recorded so you can watch it back. But in the moment, it's like, oh, I have to train that skill of being in the moment, being present, trusting my acting ability.I've learned these lines. Now let me be with my scene partner. Because the camera is so close, it's gonna tell when you're disconnected, when you're not present.

Right.

And so I'd Say that's that skill set as well.And then with voiceovers, which is you can kind of relate it to acting a bit, which I think has actually helped me in the voiceover world because I had so much training in musical theater before that it's being present.

Right.

But it's giving yourself permission to play, because I'm the only one in the studio. So when I'm on calls with the artistic director or director or client, they're like, just play. And we get scared. But what you mean play?I need direction. I need the script. I need. They're like, no, no, no. You have the script in front of you, but I need you to play.And so for me, voiceovers is the skill of trusting your instinct. I'm gonna make the choice, because guess what? If they don't like it, they'll say, I record it again. Okay, do another take. Okay, do.So it's like, oh, no, I have permission to play in this because I can do another take of this one.

Yeah, yeah. Two things that come to mind listening to you talk. One, how do you memorize this?Like, to just the average person, such as myself and the listener, how can we just be better at memory? I guess, like, do you have a good memory?

I actually have a very good memory. I have a photographic memory.

Yeah. Okay, nice.

Yes, I do have a very good memory. So for me, I will say that I can see things, like, especially music.If I'm trying to recall something, I'm like, okay, looking at the sheet music in my head, trying to find the note.

Right.

Or try to find the lyric so that for me, I can pick it up that way. But my memorization, over the years, I found the best ways to do it is. And I know people don't want to hear this, but it's repetition.It's like repetition to a nauseating level.

Right.

And so I found that, of course, highlighting your lines in the script.

Right?

Yeah.

But understanding that you have to go back and forth. You have to oscillate between your line and your partner's line, and whoever's line is next.

Right.

So you kind of also have to memorize theirs so you know what's coming. Cause you have to understand you're responding to something, right?

Yeah.

The scripts are a conversation, so you're responding to what that person said before. So a lot of times your next line, you have to go, oh, no, I'm responding. So what did that person say before?Oh, they said the sky was blue, but the clouds are coming. Oh, the clouds are coming. You're right. Like, your line's always a response to somebody else.And so for me, memorization has been writing it out my lines, like I'm journaling.

Right.

Okay. Like literally writing out the lines or looking at the script. I'll take another piece of paper and cover the lines and just test my memory.What is this line? Okay, great. Did I get it? Look. Nope, go back. What's the line? Yeah, okay, great. Did I get it? Nope. Okay, go back.And then you just keep going down the script, your line by your line, trying to memorize.

Right.

But also, rehearsals help that when you're with your scene partner, it's like, okay, what's my line again? Great. What's my line? But also, let's be very clear, sometimes I forget lines in shows.Like, I've done the show, it's put up, I'm doing it for six months, and then I go, what? Yeah, My brain just stops and I'm like, what's my line?

Oh, oopsie, oops, oops.

But in rehearsal, thank God for stage managers. We are able to. If I'm in the scene with you right now, Stephanie, and we're talking, da, da. And I just blank. I go line.And the stage manager will call it out.

Right, Right.

So we could keep the scene going.

Right.

But memorization, for me, I tell people, y', all, it's. It's repetition to a nauseating level.

Yeah. Because especially when you say school. Like you're in school all day.

Yes.

So it's like if you're spending all day working on memorizing lines before you can even put your ayanna flair to it, like, yikes.

Yes. But also it's the movement, because you'll be. I would typically say you get a read through.

Right.

The first day. Let's say we're going with musical theater. You get a read through the first day and the next day the choreographer.Because dancing takes the longest to polish. So they'll be like, okay, and we are gonna go to actually the end of Act 1. Let's do the closing number of Act 1 to learn the choreography.

Yeah.

And you're like, okay. But then after lunch, you'll have a rehearsal and the director's like, let's go to scene one.And you're like, but I just learned the choreography to the closing. Oh my gosh. So we actually. It depends on the director and depends on the show.

Uh huh.

You may not learn it in order either. You may not learn it in order. Yeah, you may. Yeah. You're like, okay, I'll take Hairspray, for instance.

Right?

I've done that show six times.

Okay.

Without fail. Without fail. The director, the choreographer, especially the choreographer, he's like. Or she's like, we're learning.You can't stop the beat, which is the closing number of the show first, because it's so long. It's a marathon number. And they're like, yeah, we're doing it first. You're like, what? And then guess what? They move on.And you're like, great, learn it. Your job to memorize it. And we've done all the different pieces. And now you're like, oh, we have a stumble through of the show, is what we call it.So now you have to recall everything you've done and put it in order. It's fun. It's fun. But that's a skill, right? Like, I literally have learned how to do that.

Yeah.

That is. I am. That is my trade. I have learned how to do that.

Yeah. It's. You know, when I. I feel like I start to get a newfound appreciation, obviously for, like, films and maybe films and tv probably.Mostly when you see characters going back and forth and you're like, man, they are acting. They are acting, you know? Cause it's like how they're delivering all these lines and with such passion.And, you know, it also makes me think of cringe. Like, you know, I don't know, just like dancing in front of people and delivering these lines. Like, do you ever get embarrassed?Like, yeah, like, I feel like I'm like my body is like tensing up as I'm talking about.

Just because I can watch you out.

I can see myself, like out there doing like five, six, and I'm like, oh, my God. It's just so. To me, it feels like embarrassing. Even though I know what you're doing is not embarrassing.

Right.

It's a performance. It's like a reason. It's telling a story. But I guess if you could. Could you speak to cringe? Because I'm sort of going in a different way.But I think of, you know, like folks with TikTok or even marketing your own creative work. Like, the performance needed in that, um, it's, you know, it. I. I'm resistant to that.

To that.

Yeah.

And so I guess, like, you know, since you're the professional here, we got you here. Just any random thoughts of that?Because I know that's sort of out the blue question, but yeah, that's what I was thinking of because I was picturing you, like, performing and I'M like, oh, my God, I can never do that.

Got you. I got you. Well, you can do that. Yeah, you can if you think you can.

Yeah, yeah.

You can if you think you can.

Yeah.

That's actually a two part question because performing on stage and performing. I'm putting that in air quotes, Y' all on TikTok are two different things, okay? So on stage, for me, I'm a natural born performer, right?Like, I've been performing since I was a little kid.I was the one making up shows in the living room, forcing my parents, my sister, my family and friends, whoever was over that day to watch my show, right? So that's just. That is who I. That is where I live, who I am. That's the pot I live in, right?So for me, the aspect of being on stage, now, mind you, this is all in our head. This is all mental. But that fourth wall, that the audience doesn't exist. We literally know y' all are there. But we are in our own world, right?Like, we're in our own world. You're watching us. In our world, there is a fourth wall. Unless it's written that the character talks to the audience, then you're fully aware of it.But we're like, no, no, no. We're presenting a show to you. Welcome to our world.

Right?

Okay.

And so for me personally, there's a safety in that, right? Like, of course I don't want to mess up. I don't want to trip and fall and, like, you know, ruin the show or injure myself, right?Or, like, mess up a note. But even with that, it's live theater and nobody's gonna remember that messed up note, right?So I think for me, it more the nervousness comes from that of like, oh, I don't wanna. I don't wanna mess up, right? I don't wanna be embarrassed that way.But to perform, no, I do not feel embarrassed or, like, cringe to perform in front of people in a musical theater sense, because it's like, I have safety because I'm in my own world. I'm in this musical theater world. Yeah, y' all are just watching us in our world, right?

We would be here regardless.

Exactly. Bingo, bingo, bingo. We would be here whether y' all are here or not, right? And so for me, that's how it feels where I'm like, no child.Welcome to my world, right?

Yeah.

But then nowadays, with this, you know, social media and TikTok, that performance is different, right? It's different because I don't even like it yeah.

Oh, right.

I don't, I don't, I don't. I'm like, no, no, no. Because a lot of people are not actually authentic, right? Because I.Within the form of acting, there has to be authenticity behind it. Even though I'm playing a character that I might not relate to. It could be a black woman who's from England. I'm not from England.

Right.

She could be a mother. She could be all the things that I am not. But what I relate to is her humanness.

Right.

Her being a human being and men within that. How can I relate to her? Okay, well, we are both black. Okay, well, we all. We both may have Caribbean roots.

Great.

I'm not a mom, but I'm. But I'm an auntie.

Right?

Like, I'm a big cousin. I am a mother figure to younger people in my family.

Right.

So trying to find the authenticity in that. But the performance of social media is not really authentic. People are trying to come off as authentic, but it's very much performance based.And that makes me cringe where I'm just like, but you're not being a real person. You're giving this polish thing. You're giving this, like, oh, well, look at what I'm doing. And it's like, but what are you really doing?

Right?

Like, there's a craft behind theater and TV and film. There's a craft behind that. There's not a craft behind TikTok or Instagram or any of the social feeds.

Right.

It's more for attention and also it's more for validation.

Right.

Like, a lot of people will do it for validation, which I've also learned to validate myself as a person, but also as an artist and not have to wait on somebody else to validate me to do what I want. And I have found that I do that with my mentees.

Right.

And the people that I also help as artists. Because I'm just like, you have to validate yourself.And it doesn't help that the casting directors now will be like, well, how many TikTok followers do you have? How many Instagram followers do you have? And I'm like, why does that matter? Because guess what?Acting as an art form is still gonna be here once TikTok and Instagram aren't.

Yes.

And you're gonna need the actors who know how to actually act and be in their craft.

Yeah.

Right?

So that makes me. Social media makes me cringe too. And I'm just like, I'm gonna put out what I want to put out on Social media and people. Oh, your personal brand.You're this. I'm a person. I'm a human being. I am not a brand. Yeah, I am a person. And however that's gonna affect me is however that's gonna affect me.But what I will know is that my craft and my talent is gonna be here once social media is it.

Right? Yeah. I feel really comforted by that phrase. You're in my world.Because I think even in my own art, I do have characters that I'll play or I'll create different scenarios of which I'll put myself in. And that is safe for me because I'm doing it behind the lens by myself, make my space up. And then when I put it out, I don't have to necessarily be.Now it's out. I don't have to necessarily interact with or be live with it. And knowing that, that's okay. Cause I've had this.I had this one project called Steph Talks Proper, where it was like this amateur rapper, and she just thought it was basically like a critique to how anybody just thinks that they can do these creative crafts. Like, I have friends. I'm sure you have friends that have been musicians for years, working to just, like, continuously amplify themselves.And then people just sort of come out the blue, like, oh, I can rap, too. And it's like, well, you know, let's just wait a minute here. But in the studio visits I have, people would be like, oh, you should do this live.Like, do this live. And I'm just like, I don't wanna do it live. And then I would make up a reason of, like, well, no, no, no.Cause, like, the character can't perform live, you know, because then she's not good. You know, she's not a good rapper. She doesn't know what she's doing, so she has to live behind the camera. But also it helps me because I'm like.I just get so maybe, like, shy or embarrassed, like, perform out. So it's like, in that sense, even hearing you talk, it's like. Even shows how. How my performance shows up in a different way.Because I'm not, you know, like, I'm like art actor versus, like, you know, big actor with capital A. Like you, you know. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. But that makes me think about. It's the vulnerability, I think, is what may be tripping you up.

Right.

Like, performing is vulnerable.

Right?

Yeah.

Asking for what you want is vulnerable.

Yes, it is.

Bringing up a hard conversation with someone you love is vulnerable.

Right.

It's all about, how do I manage this?

Right.

And with you, it's like, well, what do I want to say? Okay, this is what I want to say. And would I be saying this without an audience? Yes. Well, how can I say it with the audience?

Right.

Knowing that that vulnerable piece is there? And it's, again, because we're human. We're like, will somebody judge me? Will they like it? Will they not?And you have to get to the point where it's like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Right.

Like, I'm just blessed to be able to share my talents and my voice and what I want to say. And remembering that people are going to have their opinions either way.Whether you do it or you don't do it, they're going to have their opinions, well, you shouldn't have done it, or why didn't you do it? People gonna have their opinions either way. So do what you want.

Absolutely. That's such a good reminder to do what you want. What do you think of, you know, the folks out there? That's like, I connect too. I connect too.I have, like, family members, friends, like, oh, Steph. Yeah. You be in the movies. Put me in a movie. I act. I act.And then you could tell they get their own idea of what acting is, because you could be like, oh, great. You know, I have this, actually, this project where I want, like, a father to be crying like, no, no, no, no.And it's like, well, I thought you acted.

I thought she was an actor.

Yeah, I thought you were an actor.

How come when people say actor, thespian. How come.

Why? When folks say, I'm an actor, I'm a thespian, how come they make that mocking like that? Actor, thespian. Why do they do that? Where did that come from?

Honestly, I don't know, but it may. I mean, it may come from, like, Shakespearean times or, like, you know, those times, but, like.And I know people mean to do it as a degrading situation, but we on the other side are like, no, no, no. I'm a thespian. I'm an actor. We reclaim that. No, that air of I'm an actor. Right? Like, this is my trade. And I don't know. I don't know.I don't know what you have to say about it.

Right.

Period. It's a period.

Right.

And so for those who say, oh, I could be an actor, there are many ways I can. I can answer this. So the immediate. The first thing that comes to mind is disrespect right? You're.You're kind of disrespectful because they don't understand. Again, this goes back to the craft that is behind being an actor. Denzel Washington started as a theater actor. He is a thespian, okay?He knows how to act on a stage. He knows how to do Shakespeare, iambic pentameter, Right. And break down the musicality of these old writers.

Right.

And not saying that that's the only thing that makes you an actor, but it does make you, like, able to break down any script.

Right.

Viola Davis started on the stage, Right? Like, there is a craft behind us. So when someone says, oh, I could be an actor, they don't understand the craft that is behind this.

Right.

All they see is the celebrity, which, again, Hollywood has made, social media has made. But even without celebrities, there'd still be actors.

Yeah.

Still be actors.

Right.

99% of actors are actors. We're not celebrities.

Right.

We like this because we like the craft. And this is how we choose to make our green coupons in the world, Right? Like, we want to make it doing something we like.And so for those people who are like, well, I could be an actor. I mean, you could. You could take acting classes. You could decide to jump into this world and understand how it works. And it's crazy, right?You can see. But I bet you, you quit. Cause you don't get it.You don't get how many auditions you don't get in the almost 20 years, how many nos I've gotten and had to keep going. I had to go, okay, well, audition for this next one or audition for this next one.And like, you don't know the first thing about getting agency representation.

Yeah.

You don't know the. Like, it's like, you could. You could be an actor. Yes, absolutely. But why?

Yeah.

My question to them would be, why? Because you see the famous people. Because you see what they're doing. Well, let's.If you actually knew what their lives entailed, you wouldn't want to be them.

Yeah.

If you knew all they had to go through, all the people they have to pay, the full team behind them. Right. The pressure that is on them daily, you actually wouldn't be able to handle that. Like, why. Why do you want to be an actor?Because you like the craft. Because you want to tell stories.Most actors do it for that, but the ones who want to do it because they see the limelight and the red carpets and the. This baby, you wouldn't last two seconds to make it to that red carpet.

Geez. Yikes.

You wouldn't make it. Yeah, I mean, that's my opinion. You just wouldn't. You wouldn't make it.

Yeah, you better put your work in.

That's the thing. You have to put the work in. Everybody thinks it's easy. Yeah, it's easy. It's not. We make it look easy because we love it.And I think that's the part that people are like, well, I could be an actor. But we love it. Yeah, we love it. And I think as artists, we're doing our best now to advocate for ourselves.

Right.

And to not take crap from people. But we do it because we love it and we have the craft behind it.

Right.

And it's just something we couldn't imagine not doing.

See, cousin. See, cousin. You can't just be an actor.

You can't just be an actor.

It's not that simple.

It's really not, though. It's real. I enjoy it. But it's not that simple.

So, like, you produced your own cabaret.

Yes.

Right. So it's like, you know, similar to a bunch of other art. Art mediums. It's like you gotta make.You're a part of other productions, but then you have to make your own as well.

Yeah.

So can you talk about that?Like, geez, you're setting all this stuff up, you know, you're doing the music, doing lights, and then you're doing all of it so that you can place yourself in front of it, you know, which is I. Which I can't even think about where, you know, it's like working on crew on stuff, so I can just worry about my part.

Yeah.

And then that's it, you know, like, you would have asked me to be there for the light, you know, whatever.But for you to have to be in those conversations and then also put yourself in it, you know, it makes me think of in Beyonce's documentary, She's like, no light on me.

You know, like.

Or do this on me.

Yes, yes.

So it's just like, geez, that. It just is so overwhelming. You go, girl.

Thank you. Thank you.

Go, girl.

Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Because it got to the point where it was overwhelming.

Yeah.

My best friend looked at me and said, are you okay? And I said, no. He was like, okay, what can I do for you? Because it is kind of like that Beyonce, like, documentary, but on a smaller scale.

Right.

Cause I wasn't touring it. I wasn't sure I was in one location for one night.

Yeah.

But I learned so much from it. So.

Yeah, like, why'd you even. Why do your own cabaret?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, because I got to the point where I finally gave myself permission.

Oh, okay.

I got to the point where it was like, I have to stop waiting for people to cast me, right? I still do audition, but I have to stop waiting for someone to cast me, to validate me, to say, oh, you have permission to now do this, right?And so I'd been wanting to do my own cabaret for a while, but I just didn't know. I was like, I'm not sure what I want the premise or the storyline to be or what have you.So I was actually speaking with my therapist and it was one of those things of like, well, Iyana, what are you in pursuit of right now? Like, just as a person, right? And I was like, joy. Like I'm just, I'm in pursuit of joy in my everyday life, right?In making my cup of coffee, you know, buying a certain syrup or something. Or I bought a milk frother so I can froth the milk on my coffee, right? Like, like finding joy, like making my own salad dressing for my salad, right?Like eating lunch outside or. Or like just things that really like fantasizing about your life, right? And making it joyful. Just the things you do every day.And so I was like, yeah, I'm in pursuit of joy, right? And so then I was like, wait, that could maybe be my cabaret, right? Cause I've been toying with a couple ideas, but nothing stuck.And I'm a firm believer of not forcing anything. And so this one felt right in the moment. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm in pursuit of joy, right?And so then I said, okay, so what does that look like past Ayana, right? Like, what is. What, what, what joy? What. What were you doing in pursuit of joy? For different things.And so then I started to think about, oh, I remember like Whitney Houston, like listening to her when I was little and like seeing her and Brandi on the first Cinderella that, you know, the TV musical movie, the two. You have two black women leads. Like what? Like my. How old was I? I think my. My 10 year old brain was like, like I couldn't handle it, right?

Yeah.

And so that was in the show. And it was a show literally about in being in pursuit of joy and the songs and the different portions of my life that these songs brought joy to.And so there was the whole Whitney Houston section. I called the Whitney Houston rabbit hole because I went down all of that with Whitney Houston.Then I did musical theater songs that bring me joy, right? They're characters that I've either played or want to play that bring me so much joy, right?So I have, like, Angelica from Hamilton, Dolores Van Cartier from Sister Act. I forget the character's name. But Shucked from Shucked. What's the character's name? I'm independently owned and operated.But that character who sings that, okay. And then I did a show called After Midnight, and I loved that show so much. I loved it. And I sang the song called Women Be Wise.So I put that in the show, right? And then there was the family barbecue. So I thought about when I was young, the family barbecues dropped. Brought me joy, right? Like, and you. If.You know. If, you know, you know, right? You know, you know, And I set up the whole thing. I was like, so y' all just imagine you're at a family barbecue.The fish is frying, the Mac and cheese just came out the oven. You got the kula. The kids is running around, running amok. You got the uncles on the domino table. You got. You know it.

Yes.

So what's the music that was playing during that time?

Right?

So that's when I. Then I had a little. I did a little Chaka Khan. I had some Stevie Wonder. Like, just putting in the music of that time. That brings you joy.

Yeah.

And so that's kind of where the idea came together. And within that, then I was like, oh, I have to produce this, right? So I wore so many hats that I've learned so much, right?Like, I want to produce another one, but I've just.I've learned so much of, like, delegating and trying to let people in in the beginning, But I think I had to do it first on my own so I could understand what I can delegate from the beginning, right?

Yeah.

I sang 15 songs.

Whoa.

Which I will never do to myself ever again. I don't know why I did that. And I also didn't give myself an intermission. That was so dumb.

Jeez.

That was so. I don't know. I mean, because it was just my first one, and I was like, I'm gonna do it.

Yep, you're trying to. You're trying to teach yourself, right?

I'm trying to teach myself, right? Oh, I learned, honey. Oh, I learned. The lessons were taught. But wearing all those hats, right? It was hard. I was stressed. I was a little overwhelmed.I am so grateful with the result of it. And everybody left singing. People are still, like, when's the next one. Like we wanna see it.

Right?

But it was. I was so used to being just the talent.

Right.

Just learn the songs. Done. Which I was doing. I was with my voice teacher learning the songs. Great. But I was also the stage manager. I was also the producer, trying to.Am I, Am I on budget? Am. I had to contact my photographer, the videographer. I had a full. I didn't do this small. I had a full band. I had a piano, drums, guitar.I had three backup singers. So try to coordinate their schedules, scheduling, rehearsal, making sure everybody get paid. Like I was booking the studios.Mind you, I'm learning all of this. And also, Stephanie, I'm still producing a podcast. I'm still mentoring. I'm still the co chair of an artistic program.I'm still auditioning for voiceovers. I still had self taught, like balancing all of these things while producing my own show and even getting the programs right.I made the digital program. That's when my best friend was like, what can I help you with?

Yeah.

So it was like, design it, go to Staples, pick it up so people can scan the QR code. Great. Can you do that? Perfect. I love you. But like managing all of those things, right, like, it was a lot.And I've had some producer friends who are more on the TV and film side. They are producers, but they're like, girl, we're producers. We can help you. Like we can't help you learn the music because we don't sing.So that's your voice teacher's job. But we are actual producers. Girl, we can help you produce your show.

Right?

So like having my girls come and being like, so when's the next one? And we're gonna help you.

Yeah, that's really nice. Yeah, that's really nice.

Yeah.

Thank God for them.

Thank God for them. Thank God for them. Because it was a lot. And again, I don't regret it. I learned so much and I'm so thankful.

Right?

And it helped. And it helped your. And it helped you in your own. In your own acting career.

It added to my.

Yeah. Added to you.

To my artistic ecosystem. Added to my. My artistic. Someone said this the other day and I loved it. My artistic currency.

Ooh, yeah. Yeah, I like that.

I was like, ooh, I'm gonna borrow that. My artistic currency.

Right?

Like, I've now done a show. I now also have proof of concept.

Right?

Yeah.

Like, my friend was like, great, now we can run with this. We can then see if we can get it. Get this thing sponsored so you don't.

Have to pay for it, right?

Yeah.

And I'll keep track of the budget. Great. Because, girl, make sure my musicians get paid. Make sure the backup singers get paid. I also costumed myself, Right. I did my own hair.Luckily, I did have a makeup artist, so she came in. But it was. And then ticket sales, Right. Like, if something was wrong with the ticket, somebody came to me because, again, it's.And I was like, I need other people to handle those things.

Yes, Yes.

I have learned that I have to pay other people to handle those things.

Things. Yeah. Because it really takes a village, doesn't it?

Yes, it takes a village.

And it's like, everybody's job is really important, you know, like, so important. I would tell PAs that they're like, I don't want to be, like, the coffee person. It's like, no, that is important.You know, these people are working all day, right.

It's very important.

They want to, like, a refresh. You know, it's really great for the craft service person actually be coming around with yogurt cups.

Okay.

Because that's a blessing.

Listen, me and craft services, crafty. I be like, God bless y'.

All. Yes. And there's the craft. The craft service people will come around with snacks.There was even one time a lady washed grapes and just put on a bowl and walked around, and everybody was like, yeah, actually. Because nobody could stop and go get themselves grapes.Now, maybe that's another thing about capitalism, like, whatever, you know, but, like, during a take, you know, if you can just. If you'll just hand me grapes while we're waiting for this take, like, and as soon as we cut, we can all have a little snack. Thank you.

Thank you. Appreciate it so much.

Yeah, I love that you're gonna have help for your next cabaret. Cause I was gonna ask if you were gonna do that again.You know, I've had questions come on the podcast before about, like, you know, producing your own thing. And I'm like, I think it is beneficial. You know, it is. It might be a lot of work, but like you said, you learn so much.You know, what you wanna do, what you don't wanna do. And you add to your artistic currency.

You add to your artistic currency.

You know, everything that you said is like, gives more reason. Because, you know, seeing that you did that and seeing, like, how glamorous and how beautiful it looked, it's just like, wow. You go, that's awesome.That's awesome. Cause one thing to take a picture, I feel like, again, it's probably even A lot for myself that I don't take into account.You know, I'm like, oh, I'm setting up the camera, I'm setting up the lights.I'm gonna go dress myself, I'm gonna position myself, take the picture, check it and go back and forth where, you know, maybe if you have a crew, it goes faster, you know, or.

Yeah, well, whatever. But, I mean, you're your own director. You're your own creative director, right?Like, with that, setting up the camera, taking a picture of yourself doing that, you should just be able to show up as talent, right?

Yeah.

And not saying, here's the thing. I also loved the autonomy that I had because I'm like, I can make the decisions.I think that's also one of the reasons I was like, I want to do my own show because I can make the decisions.

Right.

I could there a couple days before I told my musical director, hey, can we cut this song? Can we cut this? Can we put these two together? Can we make this more of a medley? Great, thanks. And he was like, sure, you got it.Like, I had the decision power, which I love. I love that part of, like, I want to be able to make the decisions about my own art and what I put out there. But I do need help.Like, I would love it if I could email someone. Hey, I need you to schedule all schedule this rehearsal.

Right?

Like, there were seven people I had to figure out schedules from and then get a rehearsal together.

Right.

Like, and I did that multiple times. And so it's like, yeah, I was the coordinator, the producer, the stage manager, the costume designer, the, like. And then talent.And then I had to learn 15 songs, which again, I did to myself. This next one, there might be about 10 songs, maybe eight. But I also wanna feature, like, maybe another artist during intermission.Cause I'm giving myself an intermission.

Yeah.

Right.

So. But learning that, like, no, I like being able to decide this is what I wanna put out in the world.

Yeah.

But I need help. And all of the positions are valuable, right? Like, the picture, the musician, everybody. Cause that's also what I like about theater.And live performance is the community that's made.

Right.

And it happens on set too.

Right.

But it's that live performance, the coming together, the culmination of it, that is like, oh, yeah, this is all worth it. And I'm so here for people producing their own work. But it takes a lot.Like, I just, like, people need to know that it takes a lot and that you can do it. You just have to get through the rough patches when you want to just throw your computer to the side, right?

Absolutely. Yeah. And I love that, like, the folks who were a part of your cabaret, too, that they took it seriously.Like, you know, I worked on a friend's independent film project, and I just love that everyone was showing up. You know, everybody was doing their part. Nobody was getting paid. But, you know, we all, like. We know that that's their goal, was to make this film.And so we all showed up and took it seriously.Even if it was for an independent project, it's still holding it just as serious as, like, a big budget, like Hollywood film or, you know, $8 million independent or whatever. Even if it's just like, hey, guys, I got, like, I did this with three grand.Like, everybody still treating it as if it is, you know, a bajillion dollar project.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And that goes to one. You taking yourself seriously, right? When you're producing your work and your art. Like, no, this is a project.I'm putting it out in the world. I am taking this seriously. So then I think that's that same energy. You have to find the people that take it seriously.

Right?

Like, I was very aware of the people I asked to be my backup singers. They were my friends. But they're very talented performers who I know are true to this, not new to this. Amen.And that would be the phrase my friend would say to me. Cause I'd be like, ah, da da da. She's like, girl, you got the right people. Because we're all true to this. We're not new to this.I've worked with every one of them in a different show. They've been in this industry with me on the same ride, right?

Yeah.

Over a decade, almost two decades in, I knew who to ask, right? They were my first string. And I had a second string just in case some of them weren't available. Cause they had booked a show or were out of town.I had a second string of people to ask. But again, they were people who I knew respected me as a person, respected me as an artist, and would take this seriously, right?Even though I wasn't paying them. I couldn't afford to pay them, like, their rent money, right? Like. But I gave them something. I was like. And I was very transparent.I was like, hey, y', all, it's my first cabaret. Here's the budget I have for backup singers. This is a rehearsal like this. And they were like, girl, of course I do it for you, right?

Yeah, that's true.

Cause they're also literally just my friends, right? Like, I'd go call them and have brunch with them. Any one of them, right?

Like, yeah.

And the musicians who I now know actually came to me. The musicians I didn't know, but they came to me off of referrals from other people.But again, I think that's also why people want to work with people they know. People wanna work with people they respect. People wanna work with people who are kind human beings whose reputation precedes them in a good way.Like, I got the musician referral from someone who knows me and was like, oh, she's a great person. You would probably wanna work with her. I didn't know any of my musicians, but they ended up working out and they were amazing.And now they're in my Rolodex to call. But it was because I knew somebody, right?

And also, thinking of your background singers, it was almost goes back into your thing we were talking about at the beginning where you're like, this is our world, you know? So they're like, of course. Because this is our world.

Literally.

So it's like, y' all might be together on brunch singing, but, you know, instead we're gonna be here this night and we're gonna be singing these songs together. And this is our world.

Boom.

And I got you. And I love that.

Boom. Exactly. Cause with any of those people, I probably will be at brunch singing. So just. Because we'll break into a random song, right?Which I have, and one of them. I was actually in her cabaret in Germany. So when I was in grad school in Scotland, she called me and was like, hey, can you fly to Germany? Yes.Because the ticket was, like, $78. What? If y' all haven't done.

Oh, yes. There.

Yeah, I was in Scotland. I was already in. In. Well, technically the uk, but Europe. I was already over there. So I was like, yeah, girl, I could fly.I could fly to Germany for the weekend. Because it doesn't. It's less than $100 round trip. Yes. I could come. So, like, I was in her cabaret, right?So it's like she's kind of returning the favor, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that so much. I love that so much. Oh, my gosh. That could probably be like, a whole other conversation about, like, grad school, out the country vibes. Like. Yes.I get into these, like, bits about grad school. Like, you know, every few months, I'll be like, I'm gonna go to grad school, and then I'll like it'll fall away.

But yeah.

Yeah.

We don't have to ask yourself why, though. I'm gonna bring it up.

Why?

Yeah. You know, I think it was funny. The. The reason I've been on it now is because I was listening to an artist.An artist talk, and they said something like, you know, I knew I would be making work for the rest of my life, so I figured I'll just go to grad school. And I'm like, that's actually, like, really smart. Because now they had this focused time.

Yeah.

To just be in critique and making work.

Yeah.

And then that's what started my spiral. Like, I love that. Yeah. I'll be making work for the rest of my life, so I might as well go to grad school.

Right.

That's what made me think. That's what. That's what made me, like, that's what's making me in this current time think about grad school. But I'm only.I'm only interested if it can be like. If it's like a paid for grad school girl. Cause I'm not interested in taking on any more bills. Absolutely not. It's absolutely out the question.

Because the way these student loans are hounding me from grad school. And let's be very clear, I do not regret it. I do not. I had some great training in Scotland. I've made lifelong friends.I just had experiences I would have never had if I didn't go to grad school in a different country.

Right.

Yeah.

So I don't regret it. But, my God, those student loans.

Yeah. It was actually artist and designer Norman Teague.

Okay.

I believe that was who he was like, oh, y' all wanna. If y' all ever wanna go to grad school, y' all should consider going out the country.

Mm.

And I'm like, oh, yeah, right. Why not?Cause even now, when I'm talking about grad school, folks are, like, mentioning, you know, universities in Chicago to go to, and I'm just like, no, if I was gonna do it, I would really do it. You know, like, really, if I wanna make work for the rest of my life.Life, why not take this period into a whole other world, part of the world and then make work and see what comes of that, you know, and break out of my shell. But, yeah, but we'll see. But, you know, winding down, I want to ask you about your mentorship stuff.So on top of, as you were saying, you were doing all this stuff with, you know, producing your cabaret while also producing your podcast, taking care of Yourself and mentoring. Mentoring. Let's talk about mentoring. So being, you know, a teaching artist, how does that inform your own acting?And I ask this because that's sort of like a controversial thing about folks being like a teaching artist, about being a teaching artist. People are like, it might take away. It's another thing to do. And I wondered, what do you think about that? Like, does it help in your own artwork?You know, obviously you're, obviously you're pouring into somebody else's talent, but how does it help yours?

Yeah, it's a reminder to me.

Right, okay.

Like, I just wrapped up a mentorship cohort session, if you will, with the program that I mentor with. And it was very refreshing to see my mentee, like, bloom.

Right.

And she had a show that premiered in the New York Fringe this year.

Oh, very cool.

And I was so proud of her.

Right.

And like, talking her through. No, no, no. Like, you need to be proud of yourself.

Yeah.

This is a big deal. Because she would go, oh, it's just this. Oh, it's just we don't do just anything.

Yeah.

Darling, you have a one woman show.

Wow.

In the New York Fringe. Like, let's just, let's just sit in that for a second.

Right? Yeah.

So for me, mentoring has been refreshing and a reminder because I'm also the co chair of a career guidance program. Right, okay. And so we, we don't call them mentees, we call them boosters because we're kind of giving you like a boost to your career.

I love that.

Yeah, yeah.

And it shows like, that could be around any age. Any. At any. At any age. Anytime you can need a boost, boom.

And that's it. We just acquired that you've been in New York. It's a New York based program, but we require that you've been in New York for at least a year.Like minimum a year pursuing the arts. But it's like you just need a little boost.

Right.

And we call ourselves the Cool aunts of off the Lane because we're there to give you a little reminder.

Right.

We are artists as well, going through this. And you have to understand that it's a marathon.

Yeah.

And I think mentoring for me also reminds me that it's a marathon.

Right.

Like, but this marathon looks different than the typical 9 to 5. It looks different than people who have that security. Right. And I put it in quotation mark security because welcome to 2025 and nothing is secure.Right. So I'm putting that in quotation marks. Child. That's a whole nother Conversation.

Okay, yeah.

Whole nother conversation. But for me, it has informed my art because I have to remember, just like I'm validating my. The artist that I mentor, I have to validate myself.I have to remember that I have the permission to create the life I want. I have the permission to create the art that I want.

Right.

And I try to inform that and infuse that into the artists that I talk to and mentor and give a boost to. Because it's like, I've been there, and I understand what it feels like.If you're just like, well, I haven't booked a Broadway show yet, or I haven't done this yet. And it's like, why? Because you're waiting for that validation. Because we were taught that that validation would then open doors. Not necessarily true.I've known people who have been on Broadway, one Broadway show, and that's it. But they thought it was gonna open these magic doors, right?

Yeah.

And I'm not saying that I'm not still like, I wanna be a leading lady on Broadway. I'm gonna be a leading lady on Broadway. But I had to understand that my path to that is gonna be different than what I think it's gonna be.And I also understand that from mentoring, of, like, listen to what you're also telling these mentees.

Right?

It's a reminder to myself of, like, no, no, no, you can do it. Can't isn't in your vocabulary. And like, my. I remember telling my mentee, like, so I saw this on Instagram. It was a reel.I can't tell you whose it was, but the lady was basically like, just remember, if you can't, you can't. If you. Oh. If you. If you think you can't, then you can't.

Right?

But if you think you can, then you can. Right? So I was telling my mentee that. She was like, oh, my God, that's so great.I'm like, I have to remind myself, ayanna, if you think you can, you can. And then guess what? I was out for my birthday at a restaurant, and guess what was on the back of a menu.It literally said, if you think you can, you can.

I love it.

Oh, my God. All right, I heard you. I heard you.

I love that. I also love what's on the back of the menu. Like. Like, yes, you can do this brownie a la mode.

You can't. You can do this brownie. You can.

If you think you can.

If you think you can, you can. I said, okay, fine.

I love that. Yes, I Had a friend who would, like, she was giving me advice about things to do at my, like, photography and all that.And I'm like, this is all great advice. She's like, you're welcome. I love telling people to do things I should be doing myself. And I'm like, see? Yeah.

See? Yeah, that's it. It's a reminder. It's a reminder, but also alignment.

Right.

Last thing I'll add to that is alignment, because I think, again, capitalism. You lightly touched on it.

Yeah.

Capitalism will make me make us think that we have to turn everything into something that makes us money.

Yeah.

Right.

So I think it's also looking for alignment. And when I'm mentoring, I'm like, right, what's in alignment with you, Ayanna, and what you want to do?Because some of these things could just be hobbies.

Right.

Like, I'm the go to event planner for my friends and family. I love to plan an event.

Right.

I love. Let's. Let's do it. Give me the spreadsheet. Give me the. The mood board. Give me the color palette. Like, what? I love it.

Yeah.

I don't want to turn that into a business.

Yeah.

That's a hobby. It's a hobby for me.

Right.

And I don't mind it being a hobby. And that also fills my life.

Right.

Like, I'm a yogi. I've been doing yoga for how many years? My friends are like, you should get a yoga certification and do what with it?Because I'm like, why does everything have to be to make money? It doesn't. That's wrong, y'.

All.

It's capitalism that has told us that everything you do. No, these are skills, but also just hobbies. Things I enjoy.

Right?

Yeah.

And so finding alignment, remembering. Remembering alignment for your life has also been a key in my own mentoring. Like, Ayanna, you're telling your mentors you have to remember that too.

Right? Right? Yeah. That's really good. That's really good.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for our conversation today. You know, I want to end by saying what you ask your guests at every episode on the Artist Pivot.And maybe as I'm about to ask it, it's like, oh, I see how this can maybe be in the front, but. But I'm just curious, how are your hydration levels? And if you were to send an emoji of how you are feeling for the day, which emoji would that be?Ooh.

Oh, I love it.

I love it. Okay, so my hydration levels. Okay. You see, I have my water bottle here.

Yes.

My Equinox water bottle. I was a member for two days.

Come on.

Equinox.

I got a two day pass to Equinox and then won this water bottle in a raffle. And I was like, great. I was an Equinox member for two days.

Yes.

Because that's a very expensive gym. It's very nice. It's very nice.

Yes. But that's a flex with, with the water bottle.

Okay, people?

That's a flex.

People like, are you Equinox member? Well, I was. I just go. I was.

Yeah, girl.

I was a member for two years.

Is there a reason. Yeah, you could be like, is there a reason? You're asking, Right.

Is there a reason you walk off? Right? Yes. You see, my Equinox water bottle is. Anywho, that's something I'm manifesting and praying about too.Because I'm like, I really like the discount I would get through my union. Actually isn't bad. But I'm like, that's just not a bill I wanna add on right now.

Right.

Like, in the grand scheme of things, especially the way I take care of my body, that actually isn't too bad of a cost. It's just that in these times, I'm not adding that bill to my life. So.Yes, to answer your question off on a tangent, my Equinox water bottle, my hydration's okay today. I think I have finished one of these today and I try to do three. So this is my second one because this is a 25 ounce water bottle.

Okay.

So that's. Yeah, 75 ounces if I do three. So I'm on my second one, which is good. Okay. I still have some time. I still have some time to. To chug two more.

Yeah.

So I'm doing okay with my hydration and then the emojis. I would send you today. Okay. The first one I'm thinking about is I would send you the lips. The little like kissy lips.This is one of my favorite lipsticks that I'm wearing today.

Yes.

I love it. So I'd be like the little lips.

It looks good. You look good. Thank you. Yeah, thank you.

I would probably also send you a sunshine. Like the sunshine. Because it's sunny today and that really makes me happy. And then I would send you.I would probably send you a cup of tea because there's like, you know. Cause like outside of this life, be life, Ed.And like, I'm one of those people who like, when I have family drama going on I'm the one in the corner with the popcorn and the tea sipping.

Right?

Cause like, the group chat was going off last night and I was sitting over my tea like, ooh, chile, what's happening?

Oh my God.

So I probably send you a cup of tea. I'm like, girl, the tea that's over here in my life chat these people crazy.

I love this so much. Family is so bizarre. Like, sometimes I'll be at my own family parties and I'm like, you know what? Wow, this person.If we were not family, I would not know you. But yet you knew my grandma.

Facts.

And like, you were at her funeral.

Yes.

And like, you know my parents.

Yeah.

And like, it's just so weird.

Yeah.

It's like, whoa. Like, our grandmas are sisters.

Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah.

That's crazy. Uhhuh. Right?

You're like, how did we get here? I mean, that's a whole another rabbit hole. Me and my sister sometimes are like, how did God, how did you choose the family that we get into?

Listen, that's a good question. I'm definitely going to ask him that. Like, how did you figure this out?

Like, bro, I got questions. Or sis, I got question. Listen, I'm at the point where I'm like, God, is she. They. Them. Her.

Come on.

The creator, the most high. I got questions.

Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my God. This has been another episode of nosey af. I'm your host, Stephanie Graham. What did you think about today's conversation?I would love to hear your thoughts. Head over to the nosey AF website for all the show notes related to this episode. You can also find me on Instagram.Stephanie Graham, what would you know? Or online@missgram.com where you can sign up for my newsletter where I share exclusive updates about my studio practice as well as this podcast.Until next time, y' all stay curious and take care. Bye. Sa.