What We Owe Each Other: Season 7 Reflections (22 Conversations Later)

Hey, friends. Welcome. And welcome back to noseyAFconversations about art, activism, and social change. It is your friend and host, Stephanie Graham.And y', all, Season seven is officially closed. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this with confetti energy or, like, take a deep exhale. I mean, honestly, it really is both.So, like, let's just sit in both for a second. Let's sit in the confetti energy. Let's sit in The Deep Exhale. 22 Episodes. 22. That's the longest season of nosy AF that I have ever done.And if you have been here for any of it, whether you caught one episode or, hey, all of them, I genuinely want to say thank you. Not in a performative way, not like this podcasty way, but, like, really, really, I mean it.This season has kept me going during a year that was honestly, really, really hard. And I want to talk about that because I think that's what this show has always been about, you know, the real stuff.And I know everybody's podcast is about the real stuff, the in between stuff, but I feel like the whole, like, figuring it out in public stuff. So I don't know.Before I get into themes and the guests and the beautiful things that happened this season, I need to tell you a bit about where I was while this season was going on. So 2025 was, like, the hardest year that I've had in a while. I'm talking, like, super duper broke, no consistent income, no film work to speak of.I did, like, one film project, and I. And, like, a lot of the time spent was at home wondering what in the world was going on. And all I had.Like, I had all this time, and somehow I felt like I couldn't get out of my own way. But I was taking classes. Like, honestly, so many classes, so many workshops.I don't even want to tell you how many I was learning, planning, organizing, thinking about making work and then not actually making any. I mean, I guess I did some. And, like, of course, this podcast.And there is a note I wrote to myself at the end of last year that I keep coming back to. And that note is like, if I'm not making and I'm not outside, I slowly disappear for myself.And, like, that hit me really hard when I wrote it, and it's still hitting me as, like, I realized, like, I wasn't just, like, I wasn't making images. That's the hardest piece. Like, I wasn't making images in my own practice. I wasn't making Images with like being on a crew.It just was tough and because that's what 2025 felt like in a lot of ways. Like disappearing for myself a little, waiting to feel ready, preparing instead of practicing, thinking instead of doing.And the wild part, I was hosting this podcast the entire time, talking to artists, activists, filmmakers, community builders, people who were doing the thing. And somewhere in all conversation, season by season, they were talking me back to myself. Does that make sense?Like, that's the part that I really want to honor today. You know, I won a grant. Shout out to High Park Art Center Artist run Chicago grant. I won a grant that supports this podcast.And I started doing a live show twice a month on Lumpin Radio, which if you haven't tuned in to 105.5 FM in Chicago, please come hang out. Lumpinradio.com is where it streams and you could hear live every second and fourth Saturday of the month.And I was also part of the Change Collective Fellowship, which got me thinking about civic life and community in new ways. And through all of it, nosy AF kept going. Season seven was a steady hold. I mean, 22 episodes.Even when everything felt shaky, I could come back to this, to this microphone, to the conversations listener. I could come back to you. And that matters more than I can say now.I sort of like skimmed over the Change Collective Fellowship that was, you know, maybe I'll do like another episode about it because there's a bunch of other fellows who I would love to have on the podcast. But essentially it is a fellowship for leaders in your neighborhood. And I believe it's like a few cities.Chicago, Detroit, San Antonio, Memphis, Jackson and Jackson, all of us.We would meet once a month for I believe like six months simultaneously in our respective cities and just sort of talk about leadership, funding and projects that we want to create. And in that project is where I want to create Avalon, Avalon Park film house, a pop-up micro cinema. So yeah, I'll talk about that another time.So, yeah, it's like I was doing stuff, but it felt like I wasn't. And really, because I wasn't making pictures. Like, that is my vocation, that is my practice, that is my home base.And like, I just really wasn't doing that. I mean, do pictures on the iPhone count? I don't know. I don't know. But anyway, being here with you matters more than I can say.

Gotta get up, get up, tell the whole world you a winner. Winner. Vision of a star with a mission in the cause. What you doing? How you doing?What you doing and who you are Flex yourself and press yourself Check yourself, don't wreck yourself if you know me then you know that I be knowing what's up. Hey, definitely. And grammars. Nosy as.

Okay, so let's talk about what actually happened this season, because it was genuinely something. We had artists.We had filmmakers, photographers, educators, a hummus founder, a personal stylist, a burnout recovery coach, a portrait documentarian, a screaming activist. Yes, screaming and wild. A one who crochets plastic bags into art. We recorded live at Lumpin. We went deep, we got nosy.And looking back at all 22 of these episodes, a few big things keep showing up over and over again in ways I didn't plan, but absolutely feel like this season had something to say. So I want to get into these themes with you. So theme one is redefining what success even means. And that can change.I mean, it could change whenever you want it to. It could change day to day, and it could change quarter to quarter, year to year, second to second.But yeah, I felt like theme one was redefining what success even means.So we started the season with Autumn, an artist who studied aerospace engineering at Stanford and uses performance installation art to create what she calls portals to other realities.And she came in right at the top talking about how black excellence needs to be redefined not just as achievement, but as rest, as care, as emotional and spiritual well being. And that set the tone for everything that followed.Maurice came in talking about turning rejection into fuel, building his own lane when industry kept overlooking him.Briana clearly made 12 films in 12 months, not because each one was a masterpiece, but because consistency over perfection changes your whole relationship to the work. Kyla the stylist said something that I wrote down immediately. She said, every day when I get dressed is the daily practice of identity work.Who am I being? Who am I becoming? And let me tell you, I was getting dressed now. I was staying dressed with no job. Okay, I was staying and it made me feel good.It did make you feel good to like get up, get dressed, be fly. So I love that and I think about that every day when I get dressed.I also, side note, took a class with Park Valentine about wardrobe rituals, which also sort of speaks in these same themes. And I hope to get park on the podcast as well so that we can talk about those themes.Melquea Smith left a whole nonprofit career to become a full time children's book illustrator and now is planning her move to the Netherlands with her cats. Living proof that you can build a creative Life on your own terms. I just love that, like, I have alley cats.None of them have ever come into the house, but they come around enough where I'm like, hey, what are you doing? And one of my coworkers, because now I'm currently on a TV show, they told me I should get a box and put the box out there for the cats. So we'll see.You know, I sort of, Even though I'm not a cat person, I like them being out there because I feel like they'll keep the rats away. They're sort of cute, but I don't know anything about cats, though.Like, you know, I was watching a YouTube short where this lady actually brought one of her alley cats in and, like, slowly but surely, he's letting her pet him. And I'm just like, I don't know about all that. I don't know about all that. The through line.In all these conversations, you are allowed to define success differently. You are allowed to decide that the hustle model doesn't work for you.You are allowed to build something slow, something that's yours, something that actually fits. And guess what? Some people, the hustle bottle actually does fit. They love that.And I feel like every time I see my colleagues out doing their thing, I'm like, yo, they're sort of hustling. Like, I get hustling has a bad term, but I sort of like it. It's gangsta hustle. I like that.So these types of conversations I needed to hear this year desperately. Because I'm even wondering, like, am I on some type of pivot? Who knows?You know, especially with film, like, it's just like being such a weird world right now. Like, lord, where are you taking me? Let me know. So let's move on to theme two. Theme two is care is not soft. It is structural.And this one came up many times and it stopped feeling like a coincidence. So again, Autumn's care machine reimagines what community support can look like. Whitney Bradshaw came through with the outcry project.And Whitney has facilitated nearly 80 collective scream sessions where women are coming in, sharing their stories, screaming together. It's being documented, and she has done these scream sessions in 14 states and counting.And I want you to understand this is not a quirky art project. It is like somatic therapy. And this is healing.Like, this is what it looks like when someone builds a space specifically for women, non binary and genderqueer people, to release what they've been carrying in community like a dream. I don't know if I would do this project, but I think I'm glad that it's there. Like, I was thinking, like, oh, would I do a scream session?I'm not sure, Maybe. I don't know. I'm not there yet. But I do appreciate the project for holding space. And the photos are great. Whitney has hundreds of these photos.Again, I say that, you know, she's been to 14 different states doing the scream sessions. You know, hey, if you want to host a scream session, you should hit up Whitney. It's a really dope project. She even has, like a documentary around it.So, yeah, I really, really like that project. And then my dear friend Joe, he is an educator, a theater maker, instructional coach.He came through, spent a whole episode talking about care as a daily practice in classrooms and communities. Lindsay Lerner talked about the difference between having an audience and having a true community.When you have a community, she says, there's actually sexual relationship. It's not one way. It's connection, it's care, it's reciprocity.And I love that, especially being sort of like, I'll be outside and I'll be out there, I'll be in the lounge, I'll be chit chatting. But, like, I could be shy. Can you be shy?And I feel like when you're out, like, you don't have to be outside to like, create reciprocity, I guess is what I'm saying. But I like that. Being in community is just like relationship building. And I'm queen for wanting more and more and more relationships.Nicole Halveca was a burnout, recovery coach, former pastor, host of Just Rest, which is a podcast. We are both part of the Feminist Podcasters Collective, so I guess we're sort of sister podcasts in that sense.But Nicole put it plainly that rest isn't a reward for finishing everything. It's just the foundation. And I really appreciate that.You know, I think about it more and like, I would always think of rest as like laying down, but, like, it's not. It's just not doing nothing. Rest it, you know, maybe you're on your phone just chilling, you know, it's just chilling is really what it is.Lawrence Nalls came through a multigenerational photographer. Said he refuses to let clients talk badly about themselves in his studio.He literally builds them up with what he calls a word bank with them and like, how do you feel into this photo? And that helps them become the person they want for the camera, which of course creates a beautiful photo. Like, that's care. That is brilliant.And Also, shout out to Nalls. I call Lawrence Nalls. Nalls. Shout out to him for helping these people honor their money. Like you all paid this money to get beautiful photos.So don't come in there feeling down about yourself. Don't come in there being upset. You know, you can even take that tip when you're taking a selfie. You know, don't be all down taking a selfie.You know, like, what's your word bank for when you're going to take your photos? I think this is a brilliant, brilliant tip. So this season kept insisting care is not a soft thing, is load bearing.It is infrastructure of everything that actually works. So, you know, shout out to care. So let's move into theme three, which is who gets remembered and who does the remembering.So Dr. Kate Henry came on to talk about Lisa Benton, the woman behind the first known lesbian magazine in the United States.And the whole conversation became this, like, beautiful conversation, you know, a meditation, if you will, on archives, queer history, and basically on what survives and what gets erased and why it matters and who does the preserving.Danielle Scruggs, wonderful, wonderful project who founded Black Women Directors, which is a digital archive and curatorial platform because Daniel looked around and realized someone needed to do it.James Cony made a film called There Are no Words inspired by Chanel Miller's victim impact statement, and brought together 35 actresses to collectively voice her words. Because survivor stories deserve to be held with that kind of care. Like, I love it.And again, Nalls, you know, he talked about his father's Vietnam War photographs and photography studio, now entering its third generation. He said something that I really liked about printing your memories.Like, all these pictures just stay in our phone, but print them out, put them on the wall, stop letting them only be in the phone. And then there was Anna Rosen, a Brooklyn based portrait photographer who has spent decades documenting families in all of their forms.Biracial, LGBTQ blended families, interracial couples.She set up these like a booth at street fairs in Brooklyn in the early 2000s with the backdrop, a couple of stools, her camera, and had her own son interview the families.While she photographed them, she collected their stories, their ethnicities, their family antidotes, and wove it all into a book and into a body of work called in the Presence of family. Then, almost 10 years later, she found everyone she could and photographed them again.Their children had grown, the adults were older, and the record of their lives existed because someone decided to show up with a camera and care. Now, let me tell you, I love these photos.These types of photos where you photograph like every year or you like come back every few years and just continue documenting. Was it the photographer, Timothy Greenfield? Don't quote me, but I feel like he would photograph maybe his kid and then the neighbor's kid.I want to say every year I have to look this up and then the kid, like the neighbor's kid. I went to the military, came back home, and came back over at Timothy's place to get his portrait taken. I just love that.I love these kind of stories. I should have those types of projects. But anyway, I'm also inspired by it and, and said that all her portraits are about intimacy and dignity.And honestly, that could be the thesis for this whole entire theme, intimacy and dignity. Because that's what it means to document someone. That's what it means to say you existed and you mattered. I love that.I try to take that even into my own work. Like, none of the themes of my work am I trying to mock the people. I'm just trying to bring light and, you know, technically make a beautiful image.So this season kept asking, what are you preserving? Whose story are you making sure survives even if it's yours? You know, your story too, dear listener, is super, super important, friend. It really is.And that leads me to theme four, which is the environment is personal. So Katherine Rosling, you know, sort of one of my favorite artists, I really, really love her work.She creates immersive installations about climate anxiety and environmental loss.And she opened up about losing her mother this season on the show and processing grief and ecological grief in the same breath because for her, they were not separate. Deirdre Fox, another artist who crochets and weaves plastic consumer packaging into visual poetry.Not to lecture, but to make you feel something about the materials moving through your everyday life.Naila Ali, my dear friend nyla pivoted from 20 years in fashion and beauty to create Homegirls Hummus, which is a plant based community forward built through loss and faith and a late night craving in Milwaukee. And Angela Hallowell runs Melanie mvp, spotlighting women, women athletes of color and expanding who gets to be called an athlete at all.So these conversations all circled something like what we consume, what we discard, how we move our bodies, what we put in them. It's all connected. And the environment isn't just about the planet, friend, it's also about you. Right? So I love, you know, it just keeps going, okay?It just keeps going. So I really, really love that. And then our final theme, theme five, the Messy middle is where you actually live.And, I mean, I feel like everybody's saying messy middle, right? But, like, if I say it, you sort of know what I'm talking about. And I feel like this is sort of personal, you know? So Lindsay Lerner whole.Their whole project, field Notes, is from the work in, like the Wild. It documents people before their big break in the in between, when they're just in the work and figuring it out.She called the messy middle because that's just the place where growth, creativity and clarity show up, not after the breakthrough doing it, you know, and maybe that's, like, where I am, like, in this whole messy middle. Look, let me stop making this about myself.Listen, Bridget Baker, who's a brand strategist, former dancer, certified allergic to the status quo, said something that I think we should all get tattooed, like, on our lower backs. The tattoo should say, this thing that's scary for you to share is probably the thing you should share.The thing that's going to make you the most vulnerable, that's going to have people connect with you. Could you imagine having that on your back?Like, you just see, like, somebody at, you know, a festival, like, with their beer, like, squinting their eyes, trying to read your back. But for real, though, like, what are you going to be out there sharing? Like, what is your story?And then we also have Melana Ray Johnson, who wrote a book called Speak Anyway, and this book was for introverts, and it was for people with stage fright and for the people who have something to say and keep waiting for the right moment. Well, let me tell you something, baby. The right moment is now get to talking and get to sharing.And, you know, Brianna, clearly, 12 films in 12 months said that making good films was a side effect. It's not the point. The point was the practice. The point was showing up the releasing work publicly, even when it feels scary.Like, that was a big, big takeaway. I really, really love that project. I feel sort of anxiety. I was telling her, listening to that project.I feel that film is such a collaborative medium, and it is such a medium that you have to get perfect, especially in masses. Like, people are critiquing it.You know, at the time of this recording, you know, the Oscars have completed and, you know, everybody had something to say about Sinners, even though it was obviously was a brilliant and beautiful film. And.But I feel like with films, because it's so accessible, you don't get opportunities to, like, practice and mess up because it's expensive and people are coming through, giving you their time and, like, you got that one shot. So I really like the idea of using film as a practice in using it as a space to mess up and return to and study and go back.Because I feel like in TV you don't always necessarily get that chance. You got to get it done and keep it moving on to the next episode.So I really, really, really love Briana's 12 Films in 12 Months filmmakers mixtape project. And I think about how much of the year, like, I spent waiting, waiting to feel ready, waiting for the right conditions.And I don't necessarily even know, as I say, that if that was right.I, you know, Covid coming out of COVID even still, like five, six years later, I'm, like, starting to thaw out and, like, think about, okay, what is it that I want to make? So maybe it's fine that I haven't made images. I don't like that I haven't made images. And so I don't know.All these people I were interviewing were just making the thing anyway, and so that's what I really admired about them. I guess thinking about what this season has taught me, if I had to name what Season 7 was about, the real thesis under all of it, I'd say is this.I think I'd say that season seven was all about what we owe each other.Care, community, preservation, honesty, showing up, telling the truth, building something that lasts, making space for people who've been left out, Screaming together when the world demands your silence, printing your family photos, putting them on the wall so that the generations know they. When they existed. And also, I don't think this is a small thing. It's also about we owe ourselves permission to redefine success.Permission to rest, permission to be in the messy middle, permission to call it valid, Permission to make the thing when it isn't perfect. And I really needed this season. I really did. So thank you.Thank you to every guest who came and sat with me in person at Lumpin, even if just on Riverside, wherever we found each other. I really, really, really appreciate you. You trusted me with your stories and your work, and really, I don't take it lightly.Like, I know everybody's so busy, so, you know, the guests that sit and talk to me, you know, you listening, I. I really, really appreciate you, you know, and I'm talking to you, dear listener, my dear friend, because, you know, even if you've been here for more than one season, you know, y' all are absolute legends. Thank you so much. And we really have no idea how much it means to know, like, you're out there.When people tell me that this podcast has been resonating or, you know, hey, good interview, good job, good episode, that really makes me feel something. And so knowing that they've shared it with a friend and that this thing keeps me going, and I just really am so grateful.And, you know, it's the thing that has made me keep showing up, even when the year was, like, genuinely hard. And, you know, I'm gonna talk to me Dear Stephanie, you know, yeah, it was hard.You know, you kept the show going, you know, during the hardest years of your life, and you taught yourself audio editing, and you got on live radio twice a month. You had conversations that mattered, that counts, and that's real, and that's the work.

Yay.

Oh, my gosh. So looking ahead, y', all, Season seven, that's a wrap. And I'm going into whatever comes next with one commitment to myself.Making the work, not preparing to make, not planning to make, not taking one more class about business. Okay, I am classed out, but actually, I just want to make.You know, the only class I told myself I would take this year is if it's like a technical class, like a skill, but nothing that's like philosophical or organizational administration. I want to be outside. I want to be moving my body. I want to be in the mix.I want to be present and practicing and letting the work be imperfect and just mine. So if you want to stay close while I figure it all out, you should join my newsletter. Good stuff. Only the link is in the show notes.It's my studio newsletter. Work, studio stories, behind the scenes. And yeah, it's good.And if you don't have a newsletter, if you're some sort of creative, you know, man, get a newsletter. And let's see, what do we have coming up? So season eight, there will be a few interviews, but I think some solo episodes.But I am preparing for season nine, which is. Which will be in August for Black Business Month. And that's basically me talking to, hopefully 31 black business owners.If you are a black business owner, that link will be in the show notes for you to sign up. I want to promote black business owners. This I'm inspired by Denzel Turner, who has Black Friday's podcast where he talks to black business owners.I thought it was in Detroit. I think everybody in there has some type of connection to Detroit because he's in Detroit. But I had a session with him.He actually consults podcasters, and he told me that August was Black Business Month, and I was just like, oh my gosh. So I put out a call trying to collect those stories and so yeah, all of that will be in the show notes.Listen, thank you for a whole season of good conversations of 22 episodes to be exact. I really, really appreciate you. I'm just so thankful. So listen, I'm gonna stop yapping so that I can get to the studio.And yeah, thank you so much for being here. This has been another episode of Nosy af. I'm your host Stephanie Graham.If you liked what you heard today, go ahead and give nosy AF some love by leaving a 5 star rating and review wherever you're listening. It helps folks who find the show think, ooh, if they like Nosy af, I might like it too.You can find full show notes and transcripts@nosy af.com and while you're there, sign up for my newsletter. Good stuff only where I share share studio stories, fresh art, messy ideas, and each month's episodes straight to your inbox.Thank you so much for your time today. Until next time, stay curious and take care. Bye. Sam.